Herd vs Zoo
The internet has been a huge boon to those of us with peculiar tastes. We have become spoiled because all the information needed to indulge in our whimsical hobbies and interests is so readily available. Want to find the perfect specialty tool or track down an obscure piece of memorabilia? To the interwebs! Even more valuable has been the ability to find people who are also interested in the same things. There are groups, chats, lists, etc. for every conceivable topic, so finding your tribe should be easy!
However, we know that people are feeling more lonely, depressed, and isolated than ever. Why, if they can find so many people just like them, are individuals still craving more?
It’s because when you’re part of a group that is all the same, it’s natural to compare oneself to the ideal. If you’re a zebra in a herd of zebras, you’ll find yourself wondering if your stripes are too wide, too crooked, not dark enough, etc. Worse, you’ll start comparing all your features to the best ones in the group, and of course yours can’t compete with an impossible composite of the best in the herd!
However, in a zoo, you might be the only zebra. That means that anyone looking at you will just think “zebra.” There are no unflattering comparisons to be had—you are accepted exactly as you are. There is tremendous freedom in being the only one of your kind; your role is unique and valued by everyone.
In friendship terms, this means that you should be open to groups which draw in all kinds. Instead of getting too granular, target groups which do more than one thing together. Instead of joining a team for one sport, join a group that fields a team in various sports year-round. Instead of volunteering for one organization, try an umbrella group that engages with many charities. Rather than devoting your time to a bunch of single-purpose clubs (e.g. book club, hiking group, etc.) which all act like tiny herds, join one big zoo!
Adventure-Us is designed to support your niche interests while still providing the consistency of contact you need to build real friendships. Even more beautiful is the appreciation we have for each other because we all bend a little. Maybe one activity isn’t really my thing, but I like you, and I know you like that activity, and I’m willing to try it just because I like spending time with you. That’s what nurtures real, lasting, deep friendships.
If you find yourself spread thin with too many events and not enough actual friends, it’s time to leave the herd and come to the zoo!